Plenty Of Fish notes: 08/25/2011

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“I'm looking for someone to relax with”

Well, no shit, dude ... your profile also says you have 6 year old triplets.

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If you quote Voltaire and Einstein in your profile,
you probably aren’t really looking for a woman who
“doesn’t take  life too seriously”

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One dude wrote “I like rolling in the grass like a child”
which wouldn’t’ve been funny if he’d been a little taller.

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When a dude writes “I’m not into wasting anyone’s time”,
we all know that means he lasts 2 minutes, shoves you out of bed & calls you a cab.

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I find it hard to believe a dude who he says he’s active, if he can’t be bothered to hit the space bar, in between words.

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One guy went on and on for 200 words about how he lives a healthy lifestyle,
but has a photo of himself feeding a french fry to a duck.

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“I am more than capable of taking care of myself, but too much alone time is not good for anybody”

That guy's starting to realize his porn addiction might be a problem.

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“i’m looking for a suitable partner”

Read: “I’m shopping for a uterus I don’t ever need to bring flowers to.”

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I know “it’s like searching for a needle in a haystack” is a great metaphor,

but “I wanna be the needle in your haystack” is NOT a very flattering profile headline.

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This week's "I shit you not, this is a real profile pic":

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