Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Plenty Of Fish notes: May Day Mayday

After a long hiatus (read: break to keep my sanity),
It seems nothing has changed on Plenty Of Fish …

It seems a lot of dudes are “not into games
Which is really too bad; 
I was hoping for a guy with a thing for Monopoly and  fucking with my head.
Im passionate about intimacy and kissing
Not me. I am passionate about emotional unavailability and sharp hits to the sternum.
What you see is what you get... I don't act differently for anyone. I am who I am.”
POPEYE???? Is that YOU???
I have two amazing kids who I adore.”
That’s too bad, I was looking for someone who hates his children.
I bet he doesn’t kick puppies either.  He should SAY THAT in his profile.  Loser.
And you have “morals”, not “morales”, you fucktard.
When  a guys says “I’m not looking for a notch in my bedpost”,
 I usually figure it’s because he sleeps on a futon.
Life it too short to not get the best out of it.”
I REALLY wanted to send him a message “Then I kinda don’t understand your beard.”

I have revised my “must have” list to specifically include knowing when to use “woman” versus “women”. 
It’s hard for me to believe a guy knows what monogamy is, if he doesn’t know the difference.
A guy sent me a message, asking about my “interests, hobbies and bad habits”.
Bad habits? You need to ask? You saw me online on Plenty Of Fish.
And, for FUCK’S SAKE, you like “dining out”, not “dinning out”.
If you like “Dinning out”, you must spend your afternoons standing on a street corner, banging pots and pans.

And, if that’s the case, I think we dated already.