An open letter to the 80s

On behalf of all of the women with big boobs, I’d like to ask you to please go away and never come back ... and kindly take your ruffles, huge shoulder pads and weird color-blocking with you.

deep thoughts at breakfast time

 

I love English muffins but, if I ever switched teams, I'd probably go for the Spanish ones.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girl-speak versus Boy-speak: Lingerie

Girl-speak:  If my bra matches my panties, it’s lingerie.

Boy-speak:  If she has to take a muscle-relaxer to get into it, it’s lingerie.

Top Gun Rockstar. Awesome.

I’ve been telling boys for years that I’m a white tiger.

Charlie Sheen stole my schtick. 

 

 

And, now that I think about it, I can't find my mercury surfboard either.

Survivor (03/02/2011)

Watching the Immunity Challenge on Survivor and hoping the symbolism in spitting on a tube and manipulating balls aren't lost on everyone.

The Bachelor (02/28/2011)

Brad Womack douchebag comment of the week:

“This is it. This is the overnight date week.  This is the week I get to spend some very intimate time alone with each of the women.  This is what I’ve been waiting for.”

~

“A lion is the one animal that I wanted to see the most.”

Brad went to South Africa for pussy. We get it.

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Brad thinks all relationships need to experience something scary to create a bond to hold it together.  You know, because really really liking someone and not sucking face with other people isn’t enough.

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In case you didn’t catch the insincerity the first time Brad says something, he’ll say it again:

 “I’m an extremely happy guy right now ... I am.”

~

Brad’s cliché count this week: 87,555,226,031

That might be a little inaccurate, though. I got up for a few minutes to do the dishes.

~

Dear Bon Jovi

I hate “Bed of Roses” ... It’s such a load of fairy tale horseshit.

 

But, yeah yeah.  I get it.

 

“I can barely be bothered to hit play on the c.d. player before I bend you over the back of the couch” probably wouldn’t sell a lot of records.