I decided to re-up my Plenty Of Fish profile, just for funsies ...

It's always a source of laughs and writing material, at the very least.
This is what the first 24 hours brought:

My profile  headline was “No shirt. No shoes. No service”

Some genius messaged me to ask what it MEANS.

So I changed it to "Excuse my language ... but OMFG"

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I have decided, when a dude asks for a woman who’s “easygoing”, he really wants someone who doesn’t care he’s broke. 

And “outdoorsy” means “will give me a hand-job in the car”.

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FYI, dudes:

If your picture is of you in your car, we get maternal and materialistic;

We look to see if you’re buckled up & if you have leather interior.

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From one profile:

“I also love my ride...typical guy, 99 GT MUSTANG, ahhhh 15grand of work into it is a wonderfull thing, 340hp, 390ft/lb/tq.”

I shudder to think what kind of huge, hairy women will read that and know what the fuck he’s talking about.

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Men need a heads-up that requesting  “a woman with an edge” is just asking for some bitch to cut you.

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If  a guy lists “online chatting” as an interest ,
I’m gonna guess he hits on 12 year old boys on Second Life, after his girlfriend goes to bed.

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“it’s a plus if you like boardgames”

No.Hot.Nookie.With.That.Guy.

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To the dude who loves “private island vacations”:

*cough ... Bullshit

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Every time I see a profile marked “Serious member”, I imagine the guy has a very stern looking penis.

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Douchebag-incoherent message of the day:

“I found my self staring longingly into your eyes and did not hear a word you said...  Is that the kind of creepy your worried about? Perhaps it was like most of my relationships... oh! look at the bird out the window ... crap! another distraction.  Excuse me, I did not hear what you said I was not listening, can you please repeat that?”

~

P.S.

Thank you to POF for the screamingly honestly-named  “Users who want to meet you” feature.

Xoxo,

Averill