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Sunday, July 10, 2011

Girls' Night Out: the debriefing ...

Notes I tequila-typed into my Blackberry last night:


I don’t think there was even one dude in the place who was 6 feet tall.  (*sigh) I have decided there should be a bar dedicated to hunky football players and the women who wanna throw a leg over.
~
Speaking of football [analogies]: Dudes who dress like clowns are throwing a fashion Hail Mary;
They know they have no game, so they slap on some multi-colored swim trunks and Batman t-shirt and try to score using the “I’m the cute/funny guy” angle. 
~
Watching people in their 20s trying to seduce each other is SO awkward ... and makes me wonder why anyone would freak out about turning 30.  Someone needs to tell them it’s a way better decade for good nookie.
~
Girls try to bang the DJ. 
Women date the owner. 
Really desperate girls try to bang the idiot DJ who mixed the Thong Song into Grenade.

(seriously ... wtf was he thinking?)
~
I love my buddy:
Every woman needs a friend who will tell dudes “she’s looking for someone with a future” on her behalf.

~

Before I went out, I changed my Facebook status to
"Averill is putting on slutty shoes and leaving the house"

Only 4 people *liked* it and all of them were women.

The universe must be a little off-kilter.

;)






Saturday, July 9, 2011

Oh, a girl can dream ...

Waking up on Saturday morning, with maple syrup in your hair would be way more fun if there was another person with you, who was also waking up with maple syrup in their hair.


~

Monday, July 4, 2011

The Bachelorette: 07/04/2011

Watching The Bachelorette (thanks for the repeat, ABC):

If this broad doesn't take JP and Ben the winemaker to the final,
I'm going to start a FB group demanding she be sterilized.

~

Happy 4th of July!

I wish I had British people I don't like on my Facebook friends list ...

cuz unfriending them today would be apropos and super fun.

~

Friday, June 24, 2011

A & W for lunch

Repeated 3 times "NO LETTUCE. YES MAYO" for my Chubby Chicken burger.
Upgraded (read: nutritionally downgraded) from fries to onion rings.
Then exclaimed loudly:
“Oh! You have DIET rootbeer? GET OUTTA TOWN! I didn’t KNOW that! I’ll have that.”

They mocked me, when I left, didn't they?

~

Thursday, June 23, 2011

obsessed with the new Maroon 5 song ...

But I’m thinking, if the world made any sense at all, it would be Mick singing about having a face like Adam Levine.

~

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

triperfecta

Monday:  Witnessed an accident and got to give my name & number to a cop.

Tuesday:  Firemen at the neighbourhood BBQ.

Wednesday: Was gardening out front, an ambulance pulled up and 2 paramedics got out.
 ...
Sometimes the universe really gets its shit together and says
“Awwww,  honey.  Cheer up ... Here:  Have some handsome hero-types. XOXO”

~