Plenty Of Fish notes: May Day Mayday

After a long hiatus (read: break to keep my sanity),

It seems nothing has changed on Plenty Of Fish …

It seems a lot of dudes are “not into games”

Which is really too bad; 
I was hoping for a guy with a thing for Monopoly and  fucking with my head.

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“Im passionate about intimacy and kissing”

Not me. I am passionate about emotional unavailability and sharp hits to the sternum.

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“What you see is what you get... I don't act differently for anyone. I am who I am.”

POPEYE???? Is that YOU???

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“I have two amazing kids who I adore.”

That’s too bad, I was looking for someone who hates his children.

I bet he doesn’t kick puppies either.  He should SAY THAT in his profile.  Loser.

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And you have “morals”, not “morales”, you fucktard.

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When  a guys says “I’m not looking for a notch in my bedpost”,

 I usually figure it’s because he sleeps on a futon.

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“Life it too short to not get the best out of it.”

I REALLY wanted to send him a message “Then I kinda don’t understand your beard.”

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I have revised my “must have” list to specifically include knowing when to use “woman” versus “women”. 

It’s hard for me to believe a guy knows what monogamy is, if he doesn’t know the difference.

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A guy sent me a message, asking about my “interests, hobbies and bad habits”.

Bad habits? You need to ask? You saw me online on Plenty Of Fish.

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And, for FUCK’S SAKE, you like “dining out”, not “dinning out”.

If you like “Dinning out”, you must spend your afternoons standing on a street corner, banging pots and pans.

And, if that’s the case, I think we dated already.

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